This weekend, I had chances to see many people especially at church. But I feel I want to be alone at the same time.
Yes, I do really enjoy spending time with the current group of people at fellowship. They are a bunch of lovely people whose spiritual lives touch me in various aspects. Their prayers, their caring words, even their craziness in UNO...I find them so cute!
I am being so quiet when I am among people. Maybe it is because work-wise, there will be changes ahead and I do feel there will be challenges ahead and in thinking mood. And there are things, I do not want to disclose too much at this moment and just want to keep it to myself and a few good friends. Things are progressing well, I must admit. And I have seen the Lord's mercy throughout the entire process. It is challenging me to rely on Him and let go of my assumptions and wants, and focus on what He wants me to be/become.
Today someone at church shared about her wants are not the wants of the majority of people. Hard to get peer-recognition. It gets me thinking: I am the same kind of people. Do we really need to be very rich, very successful in your field, buy a house etc? Can we have other goals in life? Do these goals count as successful as well? Can we have individual goals and wants and still be recognized by the society and others? It seems that the society has already defined what is 'successful', and everyone need to follow it so you will get recognized and be part of the elite.
But, I think, LIFE is much much more than just be an elite and earn a lot of $$. LIFE is about interacting with people, experiencing cultures, being close to God, filling yourself with knowledges, helping others in need......No, there are no contradiction with being elite. But being elite has a price to pay. This price can be heavy. Might need to do things that will hurt others, or do things that is totally against ethics. I can never do things against my will and my well-being.